Westmorland girls were given some sound advice, from bitter experience, in May 1874, by a young woman who had learned the hard way.

While looking for something else, I chanced upon a notice in the Penrith Observer that caught my eye – and no doubt was widely read and discussed by readers at the time.

It was the response to a notice the previous week. As follows:

Tuesday 19 May 1874

GEORGE PARKER, of Newby Wes,. will not be answerable for any Debts that my Wife, Frances Elizabeth Parker, of Maulds Meaburn, many incur after this notice.

Frances did not hold back in her own defence!

Frances’ response

I am, dear sir, unfortunately called, FRANCES E. PARKER. Maulds Meaburn, 21st May, 1874. Please insert the above for the sake of justice to one who has no other remedy for clearing her character in the eyes of the public.

‘The misfortune to be called Mrs Parker’

SIR,—In your last week’s impression there is an advertisement from George Parker, to the effect that he will not be answerable for any debts that I “may incur,” 

He says well that I may incur, for if I do incur any at his expense it will not be him that will pay them; for since I had the misfortune to be called Mrs. Parker he has not paid for anything. 

Frances does clarfiy this slightly – but it doesn’t do George Parker any favours!

‘One from the sulphurous regions’

He did once give me the munificent sum of fifteen shilling to pay for thirteen weeks’ lodging, and board, and that is all this “nonpareil” of a husband considered necessary to keep body and soul together.

Now he has the audacity of one from the sulphurous regions to say he will not be answerable for my debts. 

Debts, forsooth ! He never had to pay a farthing for me; but out of my own addlings, I have had to back him out through thick and thin. 

Deserted

Frances may be bitter, but at least she doesn’t have to put up with George in person, for:

He deserted me, and then to cover the deed advertises that be would not be answerable for the debts of one he never has yet maintained—never had to pay a farthing of debt for, although by all laws, human and divine, he is to love and maintain. 

Westmorland girls beware!

The ‘best’ is yet to come. Not only the advice to Westmorland girls, but the expression that follows:

Girls of Westmorland, never marry a man that has to borrow and beg his wedding brass; you had better be nebbed to death by a duck than marry such wastrel

‘Nebbed to death by a duck’

‘Neb’ is Cumbrian dialect for ‘nose,’ so it means ‘pecked to death by a duck’. An expression I hope to try out myself sometime now!

So who were they?

Frances was born Frances Elizabeth Thwaytes, in Westmorland, in 1853. Her parents were Lancelot Thwaytes and Ann née Holmes.

Lancelot was a farmer of 47 acres at Maulds Meaburn in 1851, but sadly died when she was just two years old.

1861 shows widowed Ann Thwaytes, and her five children (including Frances) living with Ann’s widowed father Jonathan Holmes, 70, a farmer of 240 acres, at Brackenslack Farm.

So Frances came from a ‘good’ background.

However, Jonathan died in 1863, and the farm was taken over by his son/Ann’s brother Jonathan and his wife and family. 

Needing a new home, and a way to make ends meet, 1871 finds Ann Thwaytes at Maulds Meaburn, working as a laundress. Four of her (adult) children and a grandson are with her. By 1881, she’s listed alone, as a ‘general servant’. 

Frances isn’t with her either time.

The marriage

Frances married George Parker on November 14, 1873, at Crosby Ravensworth.

George was to desert her within a few months of the marriage, but left her with a reminder: a girl called Ada Ann Parker (mother née Thwaytes) born in February 1874.

This was less than three months after the wedding.

Piecing it together, it would seem George got Frances pregnant, had to ‘borrow and beg’ the money to pay for the wedding (but didn’t marry her till she was six months ‘gone’). And didn’t stick around long after.

George runs away

January 1874.

ALLEGED ASSAULT.—George Parker, of Maulds Meaburn, was charged with assaulting Hannah Thwaytes, in her own house, at Shap.

The story was that George Parker had been lodging with Hannah. On the day in question, he went to the house and, according to Mrs.Thwaytes’ statement, asked for his top-coat, and attempted to remove his box. 

Hannah, alone in the house, told him he must not remove it until he had paid her about £1 for his board and lodgings. 

She then locked the door,.

The court was told that George then knocked her down and she ran upstairs, called out of the window, and someone called Ann Wilson brought a ladder by which she escaped. 

George Parker, meanwhile, picked the door lock – and ran away with his box.

The assault case was dismissed: the defence said Hannah had caught her foot in the carpet and fallen. 

Hannah Thwaytes was Frances’ sister-in-law, married to Frances’ older brother Jonathan.

There is no mention of Frances lodging with her brother and sister-in-law in the January 1874 court case. 

But George ‘running away with his box’ and top coat (owing £1 for his board and lodgings) does fit the bill of deserting her (and never paying his way).

Baby Ada

The case was heard on January 5, 1874, less than eight weeks (52 days) after the wedding.

Baby Ada Ann Parker was born on February 1, at Elizabeth Cottages, Maulds Meaburn. This was the (1871) address of Frances’ mother, Ann Thwaytes.

It shows George’s occupation as stonemason.

Sadly, just two years later there is a death registered in West Ward of Ada Ann Parker, aged two.

What happened to Frances, or indeed the ‘wastrel’ George Parker, seems lost to history.